Harry Potter and the Half Bloo RAAARGHHHHHHH
Tonight, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie. The show we were planning to watch was sold out, so we bought tickets to the later showing. This meant that we got into the lineup really early and had excellent seats. The previews were pretty normal. Hey look, the Sherlock Holmes trai-
“OMG-IF-YOU-SEE-SOMEONE-STANDING-UP-AND-YELLING-IT’S-ME-OH-MY-GOD-I-LOVE-HARRY-POTTER-I-LOVE-DRACO-SO-MUCH-OH-MY-GOD-IS-THIS-SHERLOCK-HOLMES-THAT’S-NOT-WHAT-HE-LOOKS-LIKE-THIS-ISN’T-LIKE-THE-BOOKS-OH-MY-GOD-IS-THAT-TWILIGHT-I-HATE-KRISTEN-BELL”
Yes. I had the luck (I forgot my Felix Felices at home) of sitting near an Endless Talker. Not only that, but an Endless Talker who was a devout fan of the series. The talk started during the previews. It continued into the movie. It was still going through the credits.
If you don’t like surprises, this was the theater to be sitting in. Luckily this intelligent young woman had every major plot twist and piece of dialogue in the film memorized beforehand, and had no compunctions about reciting them aloud before it happened. Not only that, but she was also happy to provide running commentary about every single character in the movie.
Especially Draco. She loved him. She loved his hair, and his pants. She loved everything about him except his feet. Yes, she disliked Draco’s feet, and wanted the world to know. SHE COMMENTED ABOUT HIS FEET. DURING THE MOVIE.
Did someone tell her to shut up? Of course. Did it work? No. As for me, it was almost a perverse pleasure. I honestly wanted to see how annoyed I could really get. And I got annoyed. As I’m typing this out, I can still hear her voice droning through my head. Ruining every major line by muttering it. Commenting on what was in the movie, and what wasn’t in the book. Talking about how cute Ron and Hermione looked together. About how much Snugglehorn looked like an old Grandpa. About how the girl sitting next to her was the only person she wanted to hug.
I plan on seeing this movie again. It was hard to make out what was going on, since I was continuously banging my head on the seat in front of me. The only saving grace was that the movie was free.
BLAH BLAH BLAH